Hello, hey, hi I’m Abbi!
I’m a lady on a pathway of enlightenment sharing my wisdom and knowledge along the way, with a deep desire to make a difference to humanity.
From the common beginnings of working on my physical body and wanting to become fit and healthy, my journey of self-exploration began back in 2009 when I joined the gym for the first time as a young adult. Little did I know that this book marked the start of my life’s work, of my own journey and the catalyst of my career in working with people 1:1 and groups.
By finding a deep passion for movement, this led me to discovering a passion for unlocking the limiting beliefs held in the subconscious mind, to breakthrough, and turn into inner strength and power. Over my 12-year journey of building a sense of self through exercise and mindset training, I have now tapped into the innate superpower that each of us unique individuals hold, our breath. From this, I have learnt the direct relationship between our body, mind & soul and the importance of learning, understanding and developing each of these facets that make up the human experience.
Since starting my inner pathway, I have become the most fittest and strongest I have ever been, I have released unwanted limiting beliefs that have held me back, and I have alchemised my past pain and trauma into a true, unwavering deep sense of self Love & strength.
And this is what I am here to share. That each and every single one of us has a story, yet we all have the ability to achieve and be, exactly who we are destined and desiring to be.
Let me take you on a trip down memory lane.
About a year out of high school I found myself no longer as fit, or as healthy as I once was. From growing up playing loads of sports, to letting that slip away throughout high school to then living that teenage clubbing life (yep, I sure do love a good party!), I quickly noticed that I wanted to become the fit, strong and healthy person that I once was.
I started training in the gym in 2009, which took me on an interesting journey of challenges and growth. It didn’t take long for me to want to dive deeper into seeing what my ability could be, so I decide to train as if I were competing in a bikini competition (actually competing on stage wasn’t of interest to me, however learning about the process, was). Within a short few months I was feeling & looking much fitter and stronger. This immediately gave me the answer to the almighty question of “what is my life purpose”? The answer was ‘to help people’, in whatever way that looked for me at the time. Of-course my answer was, “I’m going to become a Personal Trainer!”. My passion and excitement for this sport was completely and truly ignited and I so badly wanted to open up the space for anyone else wanting to go down a similar pathway. From my passion towards training my body, I began to develop a true sense of self, understanding my own strength and ability. I felt (and feel) on top of this world!
Not only was I in love with movement, I was also in love with travelling and had a deep passion for wanting to experience the coolest life I could throughout my 20’s.
About a year later I embarked on a travelling journey where I parked up in London to travel Europe and the rest of the world whilst studying to become a Personal Trainer. I ended up doing this for 6 years! And my oh my, this is where my real journey began.
About 5-6 months of living in London, I entered a relationship that I didn’t realise was going (that I unconsciously allowed) to destroy me.
Being someone who previously found it extremely difficult to speak up for myself in both comfortable and uncomfortable situations, this relationship was the catalyst for my healing journey. And also, became the reason I learned the direct relationship between our stored emotions and their influence on dis-ease in our physical bodies. Dis-ease being injuries and illnesses.
Although during this time, I was ecstatic about my life outside of this relationship – constant travel, making new friends in every country that I visited, having the time of my life, whilst being the most strongest and fittest I have ever physically been, I was experiencing, on-going mental and emotional abuse within my relationship that I simply did not know how to handle.
This is where my internal reality, and my external reality submerged into one. I was still living life to its absolute fullest, however what I didn’t realise at the time, was the unconscious numbing and hiding away from the deepest emotions that I was enduring throughout this relationship. My poor inner child was full of fear and abandonment. Abandonment from myself that was. I lacked self-love, my confidence diminished and eventually, I felt like I had lost parts of me that I wasn’t sure how I was going to get back.
My physical body started to talk to me. My issues started in my gut, one of the obvious places that our emotions first manifest. Fixing my gut was an ongoing saga which I needed support for (the person I was with had my back with this, which of course offered a level of safety for me) and I managed to “fix” this issue. I endured non-stop lower back issues – pro lapsed discs, torn muscles in my upper back, consistent discomfort and pain. (Lower back issues can be related to support for self (lack of boundaries), financial issues and ‘bending over backwards’ for others). I went from being the physically fittest I had ever been, to feeling ‘locked up’ in my body – when really, the truth is that I was ‘locked up’ in my emotions and relationship.
I fell extremely sick and ended up in hospital twice, nearly having to go into surgery to get my appendix removed (this Universe had my back here when I prayed in the hospital bed for help).
This was all in the space of 6-12 months. 6 months into the relationship I realised I needed an escape plan, and the additional 3-6 months (I can’t remember exactly the timeline) was actually getting out of it.
I was completely unaware at the time that this was all my own fault. It was my lack of boundaries and allowing myself to be treated in a certain way. It was my inability to speak up for myself (although I was petrified to do so), and it was my capacity to desensitise myself to my emotions that lead me to experiencing states of anxiety and depression. As soon as I realised this, I knew I wanted to heal. But did I know how? Absolutely not.
Bearing in mind, I was still having so much fun living an incredible, fast paced, invigorating life on the other side of the world. I started my career as a Personal Trainer where I had (and still have) the absolute pleasure of working 1:1 with people wanting to create change in their lives. Developing their own sense of self. I fill with so much gratitude knowing that people have trusted in me to provide them with the service, knowledge and wisdom of movement (big shout out to you if you are one of my clients past, present (or future!) reading this xx).
It didn’t take me long to fall into the trap of dating the next person. Of course, unconsciously filling the void from the last relationship, hiding behind the “joys of being with someone new” without truly and deeply processing the trauma from the last relationship. Albeit, this connection didn’t include mental abuse, however my lack of boundaries and lack of self-love definitely played a role in the way I allowed myself to be treated, again. I remember thinking multiple times to myself, how on Earth have I ended up like this. Externally living a ‘full’ life, but internally living a somewhat ‘empty’ life.
By now my body was STILL talking to me and my movement slowly decreased as my body simply couldn’t handle the impact from supressed emotions and physical activity. Still living with these lower back issues and constant niggles. I ended up paying for a chiropractor 3 days per week so ‘fix’ the issues I was living with #bandaideffect. I was beginning to notice that no matter what I was doing externally – seeing the chiro, reduced/changed the amount that I was training, foam rolling more etc the issues were still there. I wonder why?!
Long story short, it took me about 12 months of going back and forth with this last person, still partying and consistent travelling whilst running my small business as a Personal Trainer, living life to the ‘fullest’, to finally having enough! I was done. Exhausted. Depleted and was feeling internally lifeless. From wondering if I would ever get the parts back that I felt like I had previously lost, to feeling like I had completely lost my soul, I decided to pack up my stuff and life in London and move back to my home in Perth to start the road of healing and reconnecting with my soul again.
It started with me hibernating for about 4-5 months. Extremely early nights, taking it real, real slow. As I was unaware of ‘how’ to heal I started with what I’ve always known, movement. I trained outdoors in the park to reconnect and ground myself, and also started yoga to assist in the healing of my physical body.
During my hibernation, I had plenty of time to sit and ponder. Plenty of time for thoughts and emotions to rise. As someone who always thought I was ‘strong’ because I didn’t cry, this was a very challenging process for me. And of course, being an expert at emotional suppression I actually didn’t know how to feel.
All I knew was that I wanted to come back home to myself. I wanted to reconnect to me. And by this point I was deeply ready to follow the pathway that was unravelling before me.
My intention behind attending my first workshop including Breathwork, mediation, kundalini yoga, cacao and sound healing, was to surrender. And my oh my, did I surrender. This was the pivotal moment for change, the pathway on my journey home. The release that I had cracked my whole entire being wide open. Breathwork was the main stand out to me this day. It was the breathwork that really opened me up. My ego was resisting the depths I was desiring to go. It was holding on for dear life before a voice came to me and said “surrender, let it go. Set yourself free’. So, I did. I anchored even further into my breath and out flooded endless tears. Here came the deep heart ache to my core. This is where I uprooted much pain and discomfort. And the only thing that kept coming up for me was guilt. Not the pain from my life experience & my past relationships, but the sheer guilt that I was feeling for abandoning myself. For not taking the time to tune in and listen to my heart. The guilt for making myself sick. The guilt for losing myself. The guilt for denying my inner child. How could I have done this I remember thinking?
After this day – I made a deep commitment to my inner work, to self-discovery. Since this day around 3 years ago I have spent many hours by myself, learning myself and reclaiming myself. My pathway has looked like consuming, gigantic waves, as I leaned into my shadow work, mixed with beautiful calming waves that soothe the soul. I have experienced different healing modalities such as kundalini yoga, yoga and movement, journaling, meditation, ice baths, cacao ceremonies, sound healing, plant ceremonies and of course my absolute favourite; Breathwork. I have hired coaches, attended self-development courses and have manifested beautiful souls on the same journey.
However, Breathwork has been the number one anchor for my healing journey. After moving into my apartment that I manifested, my healing journey became a whole lot wider, deeper, invigorating, wholesome and no doubt, life changing. My breath has taken me to depths and places that I didn’t know possible. It has brought up trauma, experiences and deep feelings from my subconscious mind for me to feel through, heal and alchemise into pure acceptance and self-Love. I have learnt during my healing journey that our Breath is our own innate superpower. Of course, there are other modalities that we can tap into to enhance our healing journey, however I truly believe that we have the capabilities to heal from the inside out with our own breath.
The life I am currently living is one of deep purpose and fulfillment. I am proud to say that my journey has gone from self-discovery to self-actualisation. My communication is the best it has ever been, no matter how difficult situations may seem. I have cultivated so much inner strength and power to create the life my soul desires to live. I live with compassion and empathy towards myself and understand that I am human, and I am 100% safe to show my emotions as I feel my strength now lies in my vulnerability. I am the most connected to myself than I have ever been, and I am creating the life that I desire. After Breathwork recently, I had endless confirmation from my highest self that I am living as the person I have always wanted to be. Yes of course, the inner journey never ends as we continue to evolve over time, and there is always more to uncover and dive deeper into, however, I am so much more able, ready and AWAKE to go through the depths necessary to live an even more fulfilled, abundant, successful life.
I am home. I am connected with my soul. I have cultivated a deeper sense of self awareness, self love and most of all, self trust and worth.
My newest inner work is going to be feminine embodiment. This is what my soul has been calling for a little while now. As I hit my 30th year in this physical body, I am ready to quantum leap within myself, within my life and within my purpose and service to humanity.
From Personal Training to Breathwork Facilitation, I am expanding my container to enlighten those for who are ready to Awaken themselves too. My purpose is to provide the wisdom and tools necessary for change. To me, success comes from the inside out. I believe true success lies within my inner world, as I know without a seed of doubt that my external world is a physical representation of how I live within my body, my mind and my soul. And it is my dream to take people on their inner journey, as I believe there is simply nothing as fulfilling as becoming one with self.